It has been asked what will happen to the body of Chuck Norris when he chooses to leave this world. Similar to a saint, his body will not decompose. The does not indicate holiness, Chuck Norris's body is simply so durable that it is not edible to any form of life. Additionally he will move on to another dimension. Perhaps simply phasing into another timeline. Here he will form another physical body and continue his life in a completely alternative reality.
We have to figure that all the legends of Chuck Norris's experiences have to mean he's been around for longer than a single lifetime, yet we can determine exactly how long he's been here. Being immortal, getting tired of the dimension you live in is expected, so after approximately one human life, he vanishes into another world. We continue to live semi-peacefully post-departure.
Showing posts with label Chuck Norris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chuck Norris. Show all posts
10/08/2010
10/07/2010
The Beard
I've gotten a question or two about Chuck Norris's beard. I've also heard a few people claim the beard is a source of power, that within every hair is the claimed soul of a fallen enemy. I personally have no way of knowing for sure, but the lore leads us to believe that Chuck Norris's beard is indestructible. This obviously means that the beard cannot be made of keratin (as normal beards/hair are). It is probably made from an unfathomably strong bio-alloy.
The toughness and resilience of the beard provides a great number of benefits:
- Armor covering a large percentage of the face.
- Enhanced tickling abilities (for the ladies).
- Makeshift weapon in dire situations.
- And likely much more.
Should you encounter bits of information about Chuck Norris's beard that you think I may not have heard, please let me know.
The toughness and resilience of the beard provides a great number of benefits:
- Armor covering a large percentage of the face.
- Enhanced tickling abilities (for the ladies).
- Makeshift weapon in dire situations.
- And likely much more.
Should you encounter bits of information about Chuck Norris's beard that you think I may not have heard, please let me know.
10/06/2010
Knowing Chuck Norris
Wikipedia's Chuck Norris article states, "... Norris is a tough, all-powerful super-being. Chuck Norris facts have spread around the world, leading not only to translated versions, but also spawning localized versions..." While we all know this to be true, it is a sobering reality to read it from a factual source.
Though we don't understand much about his power, we are lucky to exist on friendly terms with him. The legends of his exploits claim quite a bit, including incredible feats of violence. It isn't unreasonable that if you believe all of it, you could worship Chuck Norris as a god. The lore leads you to believe he is immortal, infallible, omnipotent, and supernatural in general. I believe that may be just a bit too far.
Obviously there is a scientific explanation for why Chuck Norris is so powerful. As normal humans, we can only speculate. We clearly are not evolved enough as a species or technologically to properly analyze the scientific reasons for his power, or the source of his power.
If we average the overwhelming range of potential power Chuck Norris is thought to be capable of, we come up with some interesting results. We get a man who is capable of say, lassoing the moon and pulling into an ocean. However this man is not capable of say, creating an entire universe. If we use this as a basis for potential theories it becomes easier to judge the claims about Chuck Norris.
It may seem mad, but there are certainly forces in our universe more powerful than Chuck Norris. Lassoing the moon and pulling it to the Earth seems to require a lot of energy, sure. However, in comparison to merging neutron star binaries, it's a single drop in a very large ocean.
Final thoughts: In some ways Chuck Norris is at the mercy of the universe. To us, he is immortal. The average human could never hope to harm Chuck Norris in any way.
Though we don't understand much about his power, we are lucky to exist on friendly terms with him. The legends of his exploits claim quite a bit, including incredible feats of violence. It isn't unreasonable that if you believe all of it, you could worship Chuck Norris as a god. The lore leads you to believe he is immortal, infallible, omnipotent, and supernatural in general. I believe that may be just a bit too far.
Obviously there is a scientific explanation for why Chuck Norris is so powerful. As normal humans, we can only speculate. We clearly are not evolved enough as a species or technologically to properly analyze the scientific reasons for his power, or the source of his power.
If we average the overwhelming range of potential power Chuck Norris is thought to be capable of, we come up with some interesting results. We get a man who is capable of say, lassoing the moon and pulling into an ocean. However this man is not capable of say, creating an entire universe. If we use this as a basis for potential theories it becomes easier to judge the claims about Chuck Norris.
It may seem mad, but there are certainly forces in our universe more powerful than Chuck Norris. Lassoing the moon and pulling it to the Earth seems to require a lot of energy, sure. However, in comparison to merging neutron star binaries, it's a single drop in a very large ocean.
Final thoughts: In some ways Chuck Norris is at the mercy of the universe. To us, he is immortal. The average human could never hope to harm Chuck Norris in any way.
10/05/2010
Deadlesterol
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
This line has brought me a bit of trouble. According to lore, all of Chuck Norris is invincible. His body can withstand even the most intense of damage. However, this joke seems to suggest that if a part of his body were to turn on him, he would destroy it. This reminds me of the "Immovable Object V. Unstoppable Force". Would Chuck Norris be damaged by his actions, or will he be just fine? Would he function better than before?
Final thoughts: I believe Chuck could remove treacherous parts of his body to better suit his needs. Will is all Chuck Norris needs to continue functioning on this plane.
This line has brought me a bit of trouble. According to lore, all of Chuck Norris is invincible. His body can withstand even the most intense of damage. However, this joke seems to suggest that if a part of his body were to turn on him, he would destroy it. This reminds me of the "Immovable Object V. Unstoppable Force". Would Chuck Norris be damaged by his actions, or will he be just fine? Would he function better than before?
Final thoughts: I believe Chuck could remove treacherous parts of his body to better suit his needs. Will is all Chuck Norris needs to continue functioning on this plane.
10/04/2010
Inanimate Objects
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
The implications of this are somewhat scary. According to this not only does Chuck Norris possess the power to bring inanimate objects to life, he has the power to make them feel emotions. Crying does not indicate sentience, but the ability to feel pain. I don't imagine this being far off from having the ability to create sentient life from nothing.
Final thoughts: It is suggested that Chuck Norris wields the power of a god. He can infuse a common item with both life and sadness. Truly an epic feat.
The implications of this are somewhat scary. According to this not only does Chuck Norris possess the power to bring inanimate objects to life, he has the power to make them feel emotions. Crying does not indicate sentience, but the ability to feel pain. I don't imagine this being far off from having the ability to create sentient life from nothing.
Final thoughts: It is suggested that Chuck Norris wields the power of a god. He can infuse a common item with both life and sadness. Truly an epic feat.
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