Knowing Chuck Norris

Wikipedia's Chuck Norris article states, "... Norris is a tough, all-powerful super-being. Chuck Norris facts have spread around the world, leading not only to translated versions, but also spawning localized versions..." While we all know this to be true, it is a sobering reality to read it from a factual source.


Though we don't understand much about his power, we are lucky to exist on friendly terms with him. The legends of his exploits claim quite a bit, including incredible feats of violence. It isn't unreasonable that if you believe all of it, you could worship Chuck Norris as a god. The lore leads you to believe he is immortal, infallible, omnipotent, and supernatural in general. I believe that may be just a bit too far.


Obviously there is a scientific explanation for why Chuck Norris is so powerful. As normal humans, we can only speculate. We clearly are not evolved enough as a species or technologically to properly analyze the scientific reasons for his power, or the source of his power. 


If we average the overwhelming range of potential power Chuck Norris is thought to be capable of, we come up with some interesting results. We get a man who is capable of say, lassoing the moon and pulling into an ocean. However this man is not capable of say, creating an entire universe. If we use this as a basis for potential theories it becomes easier to judge the claims about Chuck Norris.


It may seem mad, but there are certainly forces in our universe more powerful than Chuck Norris. Lassoing the moon and pulling it to the Earth seems to require a lot of energy, sure. However, in comparison to merging neutron star binaries, it's a single drop in a very large ocean.


Final thoughts: In some ways Chuck Norris is at the mercy of the universe. To us, he is immortal. The average human could never hope to harm Chuck Norris in any way.